Jordan Day 4- Sunday

A bit more of a personal view to finish off my field study blogging- a copy of my final reflection paper:

It was the very end of the last day of our last field study. I stood on the mountain, my mind going numb with the thoughts of Moses and what he must have been feeling when he stood here. He had been working his way through the desert and now stood on Mt Nebo with his first view of the promise land. This is what he had been waiting for, searching for, longing for for so long. Yet, there was still a part that was being held back; he couldn’t see it all- there was still a huge chunk missing. What could it be? Only Yahweh knew, but it was the promise land and so Moses knew it would be good.

I thought about my life and compared it to Moses’. The Lord had brought me through some desserts already, and, as I looked out into the promise land of my life, I saw so many possibilities: people, loving people, people loving Jesus, travel, adventure, a chance to make a difference in others lives, a family, living in the deserts of foreign countries, living in America, photography and art, making a dent in ending human trafficking and sexual slavery, children, more school…the possibilities in the promise land seem very bountiful, but I can’t see it all and don’t have a lot of direction.

It will be back to the desert for me when I get home. Back to school which is not an easy place for me. But the desert is a place where people’s life skills are honed and people gain wisdom and understanding. A desert is a place of lessons to learn and faith to hold onto. It is a place where we must strengthen our trust, it is a place where faithfulness of heart, spirit, and mind is demanded completely.

The Lord has shown me over and over again his faithfulness. I know I can trust him and that he always only has the best for me in mind, and he loves me more then anyone ever could. My job now is to be faithful in what he has given me to do (finish school) and be faithful in the relationships he has trusted me with in Portland.

As I turned back around to walk back to the bus, I knew, after my glance at the promise land of my life, just like Moses, I was going back to my wilderness. I asked for strength, because I knew I would need it. Ultimately, here is my decision, here is my desire, here is my decree: I will be faithful, for the Lord has been faithful to me.

Ash and me in front of our hazy futures...